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confession

Tonight, I'm not any longer. Actually, I am determined never to let her know it. I did not want that it is sad. And that she is crying. Because of me. I wanted to keep it for me. All that has happened after I went to doctor Tiefensee. I did not want to talk about it. Not with her. About the terrible images and voices.

I know you wanted to, yes, I do it much earlier. But I did not trust all the time. Tonight, I got it but then made. I have everything Carina says. I told her what I've seen. The fact that I feel guilty and that I must take responsibility for it.

Carina looked very sad and I think she would have almost started to cry. But then I told her that I know how they can help me. And you've told about my idea to me has brought lawdwarf. When I finished, Carina looked at me a long time. Then she patted me on the head and said I was a brave little boy.

She said she knew as someone who could defend myself. He was the best in his field. Robert. Which I can quite certainly help. She could not promise me, since Robert had to do much more. But she was quite confident that I get an appointment. She would call the restaurant.

I do not know if she has already made, but I'll ask the same when she comes to pick up the laptop. I'm so hoping that I get a message from you. The last thing I heard was that you have found the observatory. That was yesterday. I'm so worried and accusations. If I only knew what happened to you!

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Carina has once told me a strange story. It was about her aunt. She liked it very. She told me that they always had a special connection to it has. Although they have both seen not so often because she lived in a small house at the other end of town.

One day, Carina sat with their parents in the living room. They were just having lunch. Suddenly there was a loud thump. Only knew Carina going on and their parents do not know what was. But then they see something lying on the floor. A clock that diee aunt once gave the parents.

At the point of the history of Carina started crying and she could not say more for now. And then she told me that her aunt died the same day. The doctor has meant It was at about noon. fell around the time when the clock on the wall

Carina is said that some things to announce in life, good and bad. You can see them if you are vigilant. omen. So they called these things. Sign. I've looked up the word in the lexicon, even though I was not yet at O. But I found it very interesting.

I always try to be vigilant. And pay attention to things that I see signs to announce something. I do not know if it's a sign, but last night I became torn suddenly from my dream. It has popped so loud as it was in Carina's living room. The image of the comet. It has been dropped.

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Sad and desperate

I'm so hoping for last night. It has helped me a way to converse with you on Friday. I was curious what you did at the weekend so everything is done. And I naturally wanted to know if you've figured out what. And if you can explain to me what my new mean bad dream. I have not been easy, but in the afternoon I managed to calm me back a bit.

I've even attempt it, to persuade Carina to remain exceptionally little longer so I can use the laptop. To me tune into the meeting with you, they gave me yet lit the second candle on my Advent. Just before I did eight Clock then turned on the computer and found the message from Morpheus. I found it sad that you have not had time for me yesterday and I was very sad.

Today I feel not good. I am desperate. There are only two more days, then Wednesday. The day on which I will do it again. I know it well. I saw it. I have so desired to know the truth. About my previous life. About the two men I've already killed. I thought, so I can stop it. What happens tomorrow. You were my last hope!

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The experiment

I must tell you something. But typing is difficult for me. I try to take the keys, but I can hardly catch. My hands are shaking too much. Fear. At least Carina is there today, otherwise I could not even write to you. Because the computer is broken down. Carina is stepped in because the night nurse is sick. I'm trying to let her in on anything, but I do not know if it works.

Last night I made the experiment. I wanted to be a good dream pilot. I've prepared myself as best I could. Before falling asleep I'm always repeating the same words hinge whispered to myself: I will dream and if I see a tree, I know that I am dreaming, Just as Devona has told me. And I have to wake me quite firmly resolved when they return. The horrific images.

is first and everything went well. I dreamed that I could fly. That was very nice. I have sailed a white beach. It was the same beach from which I've recently dreamed about before. The one with the palm trees. I'm the blue sea and the waves seen again. But this time there were no scraps, it was all very clear. It felt like I was really there and not in my room.

But suddenly I realized as I lose control of my flight. It was as if someone else secretly taken over the helm. I've looked down and suddenly everything changed. The water was no longer blue, but jet black as ink. And where there has just been standing still, the sun in the sky, was now the thin crescent of the moon. Something pulled me down to earth. I did not, but I could not help it. Knack, Knack.

I walk along a path. Through the middle of a dark forest. I can see the trees around me and want to wake up immediately. But it will not succeed me. I continue to be the way to the end and stand on the shore of a lake. The wind whistles. I look around, but it's so dark, that I do not hand over my eyes can see. Suddenly I notice that someone is watching me. From the forest itself triggers a shadow that slowly to expect.

And suddenly I know what is about to happen. Here in this lonely place. I know why I came here. And why I came back to earth. I have not done anything at that time. I'm not finished. I got a sign. Once I have it done. Killing. One last time And I know when. In four days. On 12 December. Here on this lake. That's my job!

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Nicholas

today I'm unfortunately not much time because Carina needs her laptop. Five minutes, they allowed me, then she has to go. I just wanted to show you quickly what I've got Great for Nicholas. A picture of Bjorn. And a movie at that. I'm so happy! Thanks Björn! I'll report back tomorrow! Good night!

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friend in need

was new When I was in Charles Short, the other children are quite common for the first time been to me. I remember how Mrs. Dux has introduced me to my first day and how everyone in the class turned up his nose. Well, I stop even then looked a little weird. Much too thin and small for my age. But I was already sick at that time.

Rear left was still a seat free. In addition to a boy who was wearing a funny yellow sweater. I've sat down beside him and listened to Mrs. Dux, which tells something about the history of Karl Horst added. In the middle of the hour I pushed the boy next to me at once a tangerine over which he had drawn with a felt-tip pen, an eyeglass face. It looked like the face of Mrs. Dux and I had loskichern loud. So that was know as I've learned Jonas.

We understood from the beginning, really great. Jonas and me. His parents died in a car accident when he was seven years old and he has no siblings. Fortunately, I came with him to a room. We are a good team, he and I. I've helped him with the math problems. And he told me at the gym. I could never really participate because my head has always done so much. If the others have teased me, is Jonas become angry and said that I should kindly leave them alone.

Yesterday I did not at first, I like the brown bag to get out of here. I thought only of Picasso. But where I would then have to tell everything. The terrible with the images in my head. And then it would certainly further Carina said. And then I had the salad. Then I suddenly had the idea with Jonas. I gave him a message written, he should say Mrs. Dux that he goes to soccer practice today, like the other day. He had been informed immediately.

After lunch he was on time as agreed in my room. He told me that he has little time and I gave him a brief, what to do. Get off on the return journey on the east cross short and pass the bag. The good thing about Jonas is that he is not so many questions. On it you can really rely on, even if you sit in the terminal. I gave him then told him to do eleven o'clock mandarins in the bag, but without seeing inside. When Nicholas gift for my friends who are trying to help me. I thought that was very important, because I wanted to show you something. I have the feeling, I can also count on you. Has worked with the delivery?

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The catch

other day I read somewhere that people need their habits. Things that make them again and again the same way. Things never change, no matter what. Thus we would come to life any better clear, has been in the book.

Carina is as always a smoke after it moved my bed fresh. From Picasso, I know that he painted when he was unwell. And Professor Muller goes once a year to Switzerland to climb mountains, he told me. Yes, even Mrs Dux has a habit. She breeds rare plants, which do not exist here.

I'm also a little habit. Every time I open my eyes and slept, I look first to the door handle. Every time I see her, I know I'm still here. And while I'm still here, I believe that I someday again get out here in this room. No matter what the doctors say. The catch is my hope.

So I did that as well today was when I woke up after the nap. I have the eyes opened and looked for the door handle. But it was not as usual to go turn the latch that is something. A small brown bag. First I was happy. I thought that Nicholas is too early this year.

I climbed out of bed, I slipped into my slippers and I walked the few steps to the door. Heading am a bit dizzy, but I am able to stay on their feet. I was so curious about what's in the bag. Maybe a gift? Bjorn? The I was coming on to give the camera!

I opened the bag and clean very carefully taken. Drinking was something that felt like small flat discs. But I could not see properly what it is. Very carefully, I have one of the discs out of the bag taken. It was a photo of something was written on it. By hand. A photo of a tree.

That was the moment when I dropped the bag from his hand. Because I got it recognized the tree. It is the tree behind which I've been hiding. The tree I've seen, as the lamp flickered. The tree, behind which I stood when the man died.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid me from what is still in it in the bag. I'm not confident because even take a look. And I am afraid of the unknown, who was today in afternoon in my room that has touched my jack. How does he know who I am? And why is he knows the horrible images in my head?

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New shadow

Last night I tried it. I wanted to draw my dreams. Just as Ines told me. I wanted to go there to the dark place to find out who the man I've killed. I wanted to see what is in his newspaper. At the point where he has painted something red.

To Ten I'm suddenly become tired. Almost I would read the Book from his hand slipped. Before I turned off the light, I'm me again looked at my drawings and tries to doll myself entirely to focus on the place. I do not know how I've been lying there for as long. But somewhere I must have fallen asleep. For there it was again, the light from the lamp. It began to flicker, very weak. Knack knack, .

It is dark around me. I can just see a lot, that this time I'm somewhere else. Not in the house. I'm somewhere in the open. I stand behind a tree and watch a man It's another man I'm sure. He is not wearing a suit. And he keeps a bottle in his hand. Suddenly the man is gone. I do not know where he is gone, I hear a door slams shut.

a moment it is very quiet. I'm cold and I'm freezing. In the distance a dog barked. A car drives past me close. And then suddenly this strange noise. It sounds a bit like the dentist when the rumstochert one with his equipment in his mouth. A loud groan. I hear the man trying to breathe, but he gets no air. It is only a loud whistle. I hear a thud. As when a table starts to fall. Knack knack, .

you have but it only meant well with me. You wanted to help me. You have explained to me as I draw, instead, my dreams. But I fear I have not done right. I have come to a different location. A place where I've learned that everything is much worse. Since last night I have this terrible suspicion. I think I have not done only once. No, I'm even more people killed!

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totally screwed up

I think that the title of this entry makes it quite good as the past week was.
CORKING!

not only negatively. Sometimes ... amusing.

First of all ... VICKY allowed to stay !!!!!
I had last week with my grandmother (my father's mother) and found them again so cute.
She said that we may give away under any circumstances, because she is so cute.
I've told my mother and my father. The Vicky has
then just look sighed. This was followed by the expected sentence: "I fear also that we retain as long as I do not have to go for a walk ...." XD
Then he has to put her on the carpet and played with her four clock in the morning XD ~
Now she is so official member of the family ^ __ ^ * Happy *


My grandma, my diet also has a tunnel, where for my teacher to school. When I should have given him during the break, he has the same nibble away and threatened me that if I remain seated, should my grandma and her delicious Stollen blame. XD ~
He also asked if there would be a grandpa and whether I would mind if he would take over the role.
* * löl
This had something.

Thursday was a friend to me in the store and that was ... weird. I really thought I had landed in nem Hentai XD
The friend was a good friend along with me and had a Vi *** tor intus. And he had ... the remote control. When he turned the thing, as they wanted to buy ahead and shoes, I did not know if I should laugh or be angry. But I admit ... I laughed XD ~ The
saw but also too funny.

And something I have in the store too often. Just not from friends XD

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The purple stain

I think I have now discovered an important track! She was there all the time, since my birth. I mean the purple spot on my hip. Picasso then laughed when he saw them the first time. We were in the bathroom and he washed me. As he discovers the dark spot and called out Hey, this thing looks like Sylt!

I did not know exactly what he so says and what is Sylt, but since just because I have started with the dictionary. But Picasso was then explained that a North Sea island of Sylt is with beautiful long beaches. Palmer's is as well but not much wind. Picasso has ever since made holidays and just raved.

Why is this important? Well, I've never ever thought about everything. About my birthday and what happened after that. I remembered something. Before we started with the return of Doctor Tiefensee from a friend and colleague told me. Ian from Canada. He died this year & Dentists Tiefensee looked very sad as he spoke of him.

The doctor said that this Ian has very much been working with children like me. Unfortunately, in the books that I have nothing in here about him. But I've found today on the web. His name is Ian Stevenson and was a noted researcher. As I read today from him, my heart suddenly started knocking loudly. He has collected much evidence to show the world that there is really a rebirth. This he noticed something. Many children he examined had strange marks on the body. Scars, birthmarks or birth defects!

The strange place on my hip but was always there. But never have I to me so just looked like today. What did they mean? What have I done wrong in my last life? And how can I make amends? The longer I stare at the purple stain, the more sinister he is me.

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noon today I just can not any longer. I went down to the computer, have thrown 50 cents and looked to see whether I have new messages. Morpheus I've experienced it then. What happened last night. These are not nightmares. They are real, the pictures in my head.

After I've read it, she grabbed me again, fear. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. I've slammed the door of my room and I've crawled under the covers. I've always done before, if I'm afraid.

I'm hoping that the fear will disappear under my blanket. But then I suddenly became very tired. And fell asleep. And then they came back, the pictures. The lamp, she has again started to flicker. Suddenly I was back in the dark house, along with the man

But this time I see everything much clearer. Knack, knack. I hear the man laugh. See how to push. And as the man falls to the ground. I kneel down beside him and pick something up off the floor. It's a newspaper, you just fell from his coat pocket. In it, he has a little ticked. With a red pen.

What is it, realize I can not. But instead I see something else. Something that stands above the edge. Something that is so bad that I woke up from sheer terror of it. The date. The newspaper is not today, she is already old. Very old. It will run from Thursday 16 September 1997.

I have done so. evidence does not lie. I killed a man. In my last life. How do I know which else? Who is the man I do not know. Why not have him killed. I know one thing, but I will have to atone.

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evidence do not lie The shadows on my soul

Picasso once told me what he does when he is sad or desperate. He paints It helps if you look at the shadow draws from the soul, he once said to me. Tonight, as I myself did not dare to sleep, I thought of him. I would love to talk with him, but Picasso has this week off. Middle of the night I got up and got the pins taken out of the closet, he has given me. I tried the terrible drawing pictures, so I get rid of them again. But they are increasingly clear to me as soon as my eyes do.

In Karl Horst times I had to change the bulb in the cellar. None of us wanted to get down there. We have had all fear. We have drawn matches and I was caught's. It was scary. From the ceiling a naked bulb hanging from a wire. She looked like a tennis ball. And she has made noises. Just as when Jonas cracks with his knuckles. Just this has heard. The light went on and off, and each time it has cracked. Of course I knew well: On one side of the bed linen hung out to dry with the towels. And on the other hand, the baskets are with our shorts and T-shirts. But the light had doller trembled as myself, and I'm afraid, behind the sheets would be a man and get me. If

is to make my eyes and think of my return it as on the day in the home. The dirty lamp flickers. Knack knack, . Whenever there is light, I see just the pictures. I see as I kneel down in a quiet place. Nearby is a street. And a high chimney. Then I go along a long tunnel. At the end of the tunnel, I meet a man The man has a suit and waiting for me in an old house. I go in and talk to him. Suddenly the man begins to laugh. Quite loudly. He listens to no more. I do not know about what the man laughs. As he turns to me, I come up behind him. I put a rope around his neck and push. Very slowly, until the man stopped breathing.

What are these pictures? Where are they? I'm a nightmare, caught, which has no end? I am not here in my room, but still in practice with Dr. Tiefensee, trapped in hypnosis? Are these images from my previous life? Or is it all merely of the thing in my head? I wish I could make my own way and find the place that I see when I close my eyes. Horatio Caine would do this eventually. If I really have killed a man, then he's probably still there, in the old house. But I'm too weak. Carina has real trouble getting to Professor Mueller for our trip on my birthday. He but has probably never even heard of it. If I tell you now from the images and shadows will definitely get even more trouble. Who can help me anyway?

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Pandora's box

Would that I had only heard of Jonas. If only I could not have been so impatient with the gift. Maybe I should stop it then can. Perhaps it would not come clean. In my room in my head, in my world. The evil and horror that surrounds me now.

this has started my birthday yet so beautiful. With the gifts, the song and the congratulations of my friends. As I sat in the little cafe with Carina, she is finally betray me. We ate cheese cake and she told me about it, what is the surprise. A journey. In my former life.

I'm so happy. On returns so I've read a lot. We then went over to the practice of Dr. Tiefensee. This is the doctor to whom I made the trip. His practice is in a great house just around the corner from the cafe where I was Carina.

The doctor was very kind to me and me only once made a hot milk with honey. Then I had my shoes off and lie down on a mattress. Carina was with me and I was well packed with two blankets. It was really comfortable and I was very excited.

has spoken Then the doctor. Incredibly long. His voice was very gentle and beautiful. Like the guy on my radio plays. He asked me many questions. According to my best experiences. Where it has fallen to me once. Then I should only think of the wildest place in the world and close my eyes.

Suddenly I became very tired. And at some point the doctor asked me if I see a big switch. I was in my mind the switch press down with tape so that he zurückflutscht not always. That worked. The switch has held and I got myself on an elevator.

In the elevator was a sign with many buttons. I was allowed to just pick one. I've pressed the Elf. Then it jerked and I drove down. Very long. When the door finally dawned, I've made a step forward, got out and I'm looking around. But I saw nothing. Everything was black around me.

I'm probably asleep. Just like that. When I woke up it was already dark outside. I did not even where I was. Only when I've seen the doctor and Carina, I am again occurred. And suddenly they were there. These images and voices. In it in my head. Quite blurred. Like when you're about to wake up.

I first thought I had had a nightmare during the transfer. But then at night they have come back. They are becoming clearer. Every time I sleep. There are horrific pictures. We make you afraid. I've been attempting to draw. Do you have anything to do with my past life? Or are they just dreams?

Carina I did not tell. She has it only kind to the surprise. She wanted to show me that what comes after that. I'm to blame for everything. If I had not just been so curious. I'm tired, but I do not trust me not to fall asleep. I'm so scared, especially before the vote.

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Happy Birthday to me!

I'm so glad! I do not know if it is just on my birthday or whether I would feel so good otherwise. It really is regardless of everything that has happened so far today was just incredible toll: At first I was awakened by the station with a huge black forest cherry cake. They use candles. Of which I have now eaten so many pieces that I had to cancel lunch. Was allowed to.

Every hour someone else looks over at me. Picasso, with whom I've been practicing a card trick. Made, the Philippine nurse who gave me a birthday song sung from their homes. Yes, even Professor Mueller, who has brought me over brand new skateboard sneakers. And of course, Carina, which I still do not reveal has what is the surprise, but I left there that has her laptop.

why I'm now able to thank me for all my new friends who visited me in the last days here. And so nice to me have a happy birthday. Many thanks to Ingo, Matt, Chris, Barbara & Chocolate, Sibe, Calaveres, Ines, Düsi, Björn, Romek, Morpheus, Tina, Phantasmagoria, Farina (funny, I always get no mail from you) and all those I've forgotten in the rush. If you like, but I shall know when her birthday you, I also congratulate you and give you something. So, write me calm again. I'm looking forward to post of you.

Hey, Carina was just here and said that I should get ready to march. I pull on my sneakers right now and then it finally starts. Looks pretty cold out there, despite the sun. In any event, a beautiful day to come out here again. I am sooooo excited about the surprise. I write to you tomorrow in any case as it was.

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Geschmult

Okay, what can I say. I've done it. I've broken my promise. The pledge, I have given Jonathan. But I'm simply no longer endured noon. The package has smiled at me the whole time. As if it would say to me: "Open me now!" Yes, yes, yes ... I know! Jonas said it's bad luck did so first birthday tomorrow. But I was just so curious and so I opened the gift.

came to the fore ... a magic box! Cool! One I've always wanted. Do the same for tomorrow to thank Jonas. With things out of the box, you can make quite a lot of great tricks. Tricks with cards, dice, rope, ink, balls and matches. I have the same times in the instructions. Funny I find the section with the bills. It borrows the example of an unsuspecting audience a fifty Euro bill folded, the more time together and at the end comes out a small 5 euro note, the then you laugh returns. Go easy. I have the same trick once tried to Picasso. He was so excited that I could keep the fifty € thereafter. Offset as a birthday present for tomorrow.

Picasso I wondered whether I should be afraid, because I had not waited until my birthday. Picasso meant, so I should not worry. That is superstition. This was finally not the Pandora's box or something like that. I am not sure what is going on with this gun on himself. But it sounded somehow reassuring to what Picasso said. Will look the same again in the lexicon. I'm pretty excited about tomorrow. What I get paid well by Carina? Soon I will know it.

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surprise

Today was a beautiful day. And not just because the sun finally back in my room has blinked into. Even as I opened today morning, the eyes, it went I really super. Three clear on the scale. The funniest part however was the visit of Jonas. Never thought that Ms Dux permission. All the way from Karl Horst up to me. All alone. But Jonas has simply said he goes to the sport. Typical.

Have me so excited as he stood in the doorway. Is already so long ago. I've probably missed quite a lot in Karl Horst, but Jonas has told me everything that happened, since I'm here. He has I even brought a birthday gift. But he immediately said to me that I should open it really only four days. This brings misfortune otherwise, he meant. And I can not use now.

About our bet today we have not spoken a word. I mean, that the lexicon. And not about the fact that he will probably win. Instead, we prefer to have plans about what we want to do everything together. The idea of the party on the beach, he found the way, really cool. A beach with palm trees. And high waves. And music. When forging plans we have completely forgot the time and suddenly he had to go very fast to Mrs. Dux remembers nothing.

I've just just spent the package is shaken, but have not yet figured out what's inside. Picasso has caught me and just laughed. He says whatever it is, I would definitely get something much Abgefahreneres. By Carina. Something that no one has got, he knows. What that be like? Let's see real! Only four times to wake ...

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Smile please!

I've been talking today with Carina. About her and me. I do not want them because of me is sad. About what comes next. And of rebirth. At first I thought she would not take me seriously when I started it. But they gave me and even agreed to suddenly become very quiet. She said she believes very firmly. I would have no fear. I'm Carina's the story of the twins in the womb says. They still do not know. But I think she liked it. In any case, it was completely absent at once, and thought maybe I would have brought an idea. Everything she has said.

Then we have rumgealbert a bit with my wig. I've talked Carina, she aufzuprobieren times. At first she did not want to, but then she has made it yet. For my sake. I even a picture of it. Is unfortunately a bit blurred. So I think yes, I do not see the part so ill like it :-)

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K as Karma

Have me now calmed down after the bad news of yesterday. Okay, to Professor Müller I'm still pretty angry. I can not stand it when people are not honest to me. Wanted to make it today during rounds so to speak, but it is only a representative come.

Last night I could not sleep long. I have pondered a lot and I rolled around in my bed. Suddenly I realized something. I now know why is my fear. The fear was to come here ever again get out the truth in fear of going to have to continue. Forever. As it has become clear to me, I immediately felt better.

I am glad that I said Carina, as it is really about me. Is of course hard, but at least now I know exactly where I stand. I've made in any case, hang not let me. I want to make Carina's not even more grief. Not that she's crying again. I do not think Carina is unhappy because of me.

inaccessible is to somehow know that I just happened like that. I have so much of life yet not realize. I was never gone away, at least not really. Most of it I know from books. My lexicon I will also create and Jonas is not quite win our bet well. Hopefully I do where I go, not the letters L to Z, I'm only at K.

Last night I also thought about what I have read the "Karma". Karma was recently even my word of the day. The idea of reincarnation as occurs in Buddhism, I really like, I must say. The weaker I feel, the better I find them. Somehow the thought gives me courage.

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The secret truth

IT WAS NOT YOUR LOVER !!!!! It was me. I! All right she has cried on Saturday Sun And I just wonder why I do not do it too. But it do not come easy tears. Maybe that's the shock. Carina told me today reveal the truth. The real reason why Professor Mueller has settled my chemo. The side effects were just too strong, they were to blame for my lung inflammation. Once such a story I would not survive, say the doctors. The tumor might not. Which I have already pushed for the hundredth time in this tube, and each time is the part between the walnut slices become larger. That is in plain text: Clock is ticking My.

I will probably have no pain. Hopefully. But who knows. Carina said that I must now leave in no case more to the clinic. I could always be powerless. In addition, I get pills for epileptic seizures and to pay attention to whether my arms start to tingle. To Professor Mueller I'm pretty pissed because he did not tell me what it is really about me. Out of sheer rage I wanted to tear up the slip of paper with my 11 points. Got it but then left. If only one on it anyway.

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Pizza

Picasso and I have been around for some time a little secret. If he has night duty, he sometimes ordered a giant pizza for us both. And still cola and ice. Tonight it was time again. As his head conspiratorially that stretched to the door I'm modest immediately known. The messenger was on his way. Pizza is of course not on my diet plan. And if Professor Mueller knew this would he sure scold. But Picasso always says Sometimes you can sometimes blind eye to.

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My new roommate

Today I found to my great surprise, that I have since yesterday a roommate. It is a small Mariechenkäfer. He sits on a leaf in Carina Strauss. I can not imagine that this is the right environment for him. But I can make out it is not so. Outside, it is much too cold. I have also read in the lexicon that bring these little bugs luck. So, my new roommate must continue to live here once. For luck, I can finally make good use of. What they feed the beetles really? I look the same again in the dictionary for ...

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Strange

Today I'm back in a good mood. The first three for weeks. In sharp contrast to Carina. When blood samples this morning she has hardly spoken to me. And when I told her about the great news, it has not got right. Funny. Of course I asked what's going on. 've Got such a suspicion. Surely it has to do with the crumpled photo what they always rumschleppt with it. Do not think the guy is her boyfriend in the picture. Maybe her ex? Looks a little older than her, but like a movie star. Could well play a lawyer on CSI. Last time she has shown me the image has They still smiled so funny. But when I spoke to them today, they suddenly began to cry and ran from the room. Somehow, even shame - about me she knows almost everything and she tells me almost nothing from him. But on the other hand, this is somehow logical. How could I help her already? Here alone in my room.

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hope

I think today is my lucky day. Professor Muller was right there. First I thought it was something bad happened. Because he has three looked a little more serious than usual, as he has built at the foot of my bed and asked about my health. But then he told me they would discontinue the chemo. It is now without it. Those were his words. Short and dry, as it is flat, the professor. Even before I understood correctly what he had just said he was outside again.

Now I'm sitting here and I can not believe my luck. For I have always had the suspicion that the pills have made me even more sick than the thing in my head. But no more. For joy I immediately tried to call Carina. That is not here today. Unfortunately I have not yet been reached. She wanted to organize something. Hopefully a surprise for my birthday. But actually I need now no longer. Main I'm finally back out here.

I have decided now to put me as a first name. With 11 points (11 is my favorite number) what I'm doing everything when I am outside. Number one I know. I would like to make a holiday by the sea. Preferably with a party on the beach. It's a bit embarrassing, but I've never been at sea. Jonas me so he always raised, even though the first was also on the Baltic. Regardless, to my beach party I would invite him nevertheless. It's obvious!

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My daily bread

And Groundhog Day ... I've always believed in Karl Horst would be my daily routine already strictly regulated been. But in here one day is exactly the same. Just like in one of my favorite movies. It begins in the morning (six clock when I wake up) with my nausea, Carina at 7:30 brings the breakfast and the first pill tray. Interferon, Temodal, cortisone, Vomex, what did not swallow it all back and forth, and get sprayed as a suppository. But the thing is still there. Gone are only my hair. Then I went first so corrupt that I fall asleep again. As long as I is not even bad or I am awakened by the visit. I sleep too long, I get headaches and animal must also take still Tramadolor. But towards the afternoon it gets actually getting better.

Professor Mueller has allowed me now that I just after dinner at 18.00 clock when I feel fit enough, do again to the computer. Carina brings me to extra clean their own laptop. He has a UMTS card. This I do not have down to reception, where the computers are available for visitors and where to throw inside always 50 cents if you have half an hour online want to be. So, dear diary, if I again tomorrow at 18.00're like today, then I read again what pure.

Nick Jonas Miley Cyrus

Today Horatio-day!

Today was again a four and I was allowed to watch TV. Lucky you! In recent weeks, because that was hardly possible. So I missed a few episodes of CSI. Carina gave me the first season last year for his birthday. Horatio Caine from CSI Miami is by far the coolest of all investigators. Even the name ... And his words can I have a say almost. people may lie, not evidence. I find that somehow fits to my situation. I've even borrowed his name for my diary. Think it's okay for him. So, have to do for now. Horatio is equal

PS:.. I'm curious, what do I get this year from Carina. 13 days left ... :-)

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Vicky Welcome!

Monday, I am the evening come home from work and there it was ... VICKY



Is not she cute?
six weeks old and newly separated from the mother was. The Small Arms; _;
But with us it has even now a new home
^ - ^


And it is> so small \u0026lt;
. How Idefix Asterix and Obelix!
This is the way, a washcloth in her mouth. Just so you even have any idea how small it is.



And these are their attempts to bite, even if only in the game. ^ ^ Nya

. It is a real little tomboy.

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*~+~*^-^*~+~*

ICH HABS DONE !!!!!!!!
have
This morning I sent my birthday Made to Nagayama.
With luck, it comes and works on time on Friday with him. In any case it is
already insFlugzeug and should be tomorrow in Japan.
The rest is up to the Japanese Post
* bet *
But next time, I send it by ship three months in advance.
- -
By air, something to send to Japan is extremely expensive.
But was it worth to me ^ - ^

For anyone interested in what I sent him
A small tea set with cinnamon apple tea, and this amazing candy canes
a Christmas calendar (^ ^ Nagayan loves sweet XD ~)
and a small baseball figure (I hope it was not a mistake * bet *)