I love you
Dear Myself,
finally I'm ready to make it known and no longer have to cry every time.
Last Friday (12/17/2010) is my grandpa died.
We knew for some time that it gradually came to an end with him. Since he fell in the summer and his only, residual knee was injured, he has broken down. The rehab he has not really taken seriously, and also because the hospital was not uninvolved. The fact it has actually kept only between the left and the rehabilitation nursing home. Where it was really nice also.
When he was allowed back home but it was worse again. He drove my grandma to the edge of a nervous breakdown, so they had to finally see that his head did not work properly any more, although it has the happy times ignored. But everything has its limits and possibilities of my grandma too. So he had to
in a nursing home. But very close to the apartment, my grandmother. So that she could visit him on foot. That was on 1 November.
Two weeks ago, he then had his second stroke and was hospitalized in intensive care. By the stroke he had virtually a total failure. He could no longer speak, he understood us and he probably has not even us longer detected, but we will never know.
The doctor explains the failure of his speech center so that my grandfather probably must occur as if he were in a foreign country and does not understand the language.
But even if the doctor said that he probably no longer recognizes us, I do believe that he still has. Somehow I have to believe it.
After doctors could not go on, he returned to his home, where we had then visited him on Sunday. He pressed my hand, tried to say something and cried to go as we wanted. So I do believe that he still recognized us, even if it us could not understand.
But at least he knew we were loved ones at his side.
Thursday it has my mom talked to my grandma, because the home had called her. They have been warned that they would use the blood sugar (my grandpa had diabetes) with insulin did not even get a grip and how to proceed. Although it would have to send to the hospital but really wanted my grandfather because not even get him back and force in life would have been cruel, and no real life anymore.
We have all decided to leave him rather in the home so that he could go there in peace and not connected to tens of devices. Call
That my uncle on Friday but would have the risk that it probably really slowly came to an end, so we had not really expected. My mom has started an all-call, woke me up and we're back. And I at the point my neighbor H.-K. Blender man wants to thank. If we had to wait for the taxi would not come in time to say goodbye to.
Arrived sat my uncle and my brother Mark Oli already there, who had come from work. My grandmother and my father were still in transit.
Oli told us yet that we did not have must come, because this state in which my grandfather was, had for days can go like this. But fortunately we were there. Actually, we only
sat at his side and have seen him. He also was not awake, but slept. About 15 to 20 minutes after mom and I arrived at the home, he has breathed the last time. So we were really there when he died.
It's different somehow when you stand in front of a room and said get that the person has died as inside, but to really be there. Mark and Oli has offered me many times that we should go out quietly, when we feel uncomfortable, but I wanted my grandfather the last piece to accompany any yet and I wanted to be some way for my grandma there. For the first came when he was already dead.
As we had noticed that breathing has stopped completely, Oli has felt the pulse and one more thing to wait until he has informed the staff. He wanted to make sure that nobody tries to revive a bit. After all, this was not desirable.
Both Grandma and Papa came first, when all was over. What I did for both kind of incredible suffering. The
from home we have then sent out again in short, my grandfather moved and prepared him to make a small funeral service in advance to hold.
Since that first time was that I had to see someone die, I cried the whole time. But I also think that this is normal. Meanwhile, the well stopped again and I am doing relatively well.
What I have to thank above all peoples. Among other things, cause he helped me two years ago to prepare myself for the departure of a loved one and this inner preparation has also helped me incredibly. So instead of something to tell them that everything will be fine, I just told him only the most important. Namely, that I love him.
And I like to say it again: I love you
, Loving grandfather.
Love, Me
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